-- if you don't like music(k), we don't like you --

Sunday, 5 October 2008

Bring back capital punishment

I know that hating Scouting For Girls is really obvious, like disliking Nazis or mashed potato, but sometimes you have to give voice to the glaringly obvious and make sure people realise what's going on. Scouting For Girls are three of the most insipid human beings you're ever likely to meet (and I hope to God you don't meet them), and their music is pure depression for the ears. But in a way I feel that I should draw your attention to something these men have achieved that sets them apart from every other dog shit band; they have genuinely made one of the worst song/video combinations of all time. A round of applause please, if you will, for Scouting For Girls and their new single, 'I Wish I Was James Bond', the sixth (!) to be taken from their number 1(!!) debut album, Wow I Can't Believe So Many People Actually Buy This Lazy Old Shit:

Oh dear God. Where to start with this? I'm not sure I can bring myself to do it. The guy with the bass and his spoken interlude bit, what's that about? When he says "mixing business with girls, and thrills" I literally want to shove a pen up my nose and slam my head onto the table. The way it's been released to coincide with the new James Bond film that's out next month, like people will be that stupid as to go and watch the Quantum Of Solace, then hear this on the radio and think, man, I need that song in my life because I too wish I was James Bond. OK, so people are that stupid, but why? What next, Scouting For Girls sing 'I Wish I Was Harry Potter' or 'I Wish I Was John McClane', or 'I Wish I Was Joseph Stalin' to coincide with a documentary on Communism? How about the ending, where he lists all the names of the actors that have been James Bond, thus collapsing the admittedly fragile nature of ACTING!!! Oh, by the way, the singers name is Roy. Enough said.

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