American Idle

As a precursor to the imminent disappointment that is X Factor, it might be worth noting the winner and the runner-up on the most recent American Idol series. Both David Cook (the 'winner') and David Archuleta (the 'loser') have recently released their respective 'break out' singles in America (i.e. ones they hope will set them up on a long and fruitful career now that the aura of the TV show has long diminished). And it's pretty much as you would expect: Turgid, stilted, dated, formulaic musical dross on both sides that is about as exciting as a musical battle between two men called David could be (Bowie is an exception by the way).

In the red corner you have David Cook who has facial hair so therefore he must sing with what sounds like a sore throat and play the guitar. In the blue corner you have David Archuleta who has barely finished puberty so it is written in stone that he must make mid-paced 'R&B' with some piano on it. Both songs are truly awful.

David C:



David A:



We give them Leona Lewis and look what they do in return. Right, I'm getting Michelle McManus out of retirement and we're coming to get you.