New Musick Monday

Right, is this some kind of pathological disorder we're dealing with here? Do you want to make us track down each and every one of you (yes, all twenty!) and talk sternly at you for ten minutes? For fucks sake, what's going on? How can a song as instantly catchy and indescribably amazing as 'Better Than Love' by Hurts enter the charts at number 50? How? It defies belief. Sure, Villagers missed out too and the chances of Sleigh Bells denting the charts was up there with Susan Boyle's next covers album featuring a cover of Aphex Twin's 'Windowlicker', but Hurts! Seriously, come on. We should put an end to all this, but we love you and we forgive you.

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Gemini by Wild Nothing

Chillwave or Dream Pop or Summer-sounding Songs With Fey Boys Singing Them is big business right now. Well, when we say 'big business' we mean it sells very little but it generates a lot of press. Wild Nothing, aka Jack Tatum, has been lumped in with the rest of them and for the most part it's a fair comparison, but there's something a bit more '80s indie about him then, say, Toro Y Moi. Gemini is his debut album and it features the stone-cold amazing, 'Summer Holiday', a cover of the Cliff Richard single...KIDDING. It's not as good as that. The rest of the album doesn't quite live up to it, but it's a slow week and we're running out of energy, so just buy it, yeah.

IT'S A REALLY QUIET WEEK, SO MAYBE JUST LISTEN TO AN OLD ALBUM

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'Five Trees (The Horrors Remix)' by Chapel Club

The original version is fine too, but a bit too Editors-esque for our liking. The Horrors remix adds some nice keyboard effects, puts some distortion on the vocals and generally makes it all sound less Editors-esque. We're not sure if this version is available to buy but if not you could either listen here or buy the original and play it simultaneously with something off Primary Colours and you'd get the idea.

Truffles, anyone?

Who doesn't enjoy a good scrap? Well, there's a bit of a humdinger taking place at the moment between the never-knowingly subtle M.I.A and New York Times journalist Lynn Hirschberg. Basically, the New York Times magazine ran a fairly scathing 8,000 word piece on M.I.A in which Hirschberg repeatedly framed the Sri Lankan-born rapper as some massive hypocrite. This reached it's zenith with an extended paragraph in which M.I.A describes the injustice of the world whilst ordering some fancy Truffle-flavoured chips (Trufflegate as it has now become known online). M.I.A initially retaliated by posting the journalist's phone number on Twitter, which she wasn't too happy about, obviously.

Well, M.I.A has since posted recordings from the interview which show Hirschberg ordering the chips, not M.I.A (LIKE THAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING HERE!). To be fair to the singer, she does acknowledge this fact and also posts other recordings and links to previous New York Times pieces. The best thing to come out of all this, however, is a brand new track that sees M.I.A spitting fire in Hirschberg's direction. 'I'm A Singer (Haters)' is a brilliant drip-feed electro monster that rides a massive sample of Various Productions' 'Hater'. In the song, M.I.A mentions how journalists shouldn't be thick as shit, goes on a bit about politics ("Lies equals power equals politics") and also seems to refer to Hirschberg as "racist". This could run and run.

Power play

Apparently this is the first single from Kanye West's fifth album, Good Ass Job. After all the hullabaloo about him 'violating' Taylor Swift's right to freedom of speech, it's nice to have him back doing what he does best.

This is 'Power' featuring Dwele:



This probably won't be online for long so get your ear holes around it NOW.

EDIT: It's gone...but you can hear it here

WARNING: This video features a lady playing guitar

This here is the video for Rihanna's new single (in the US), 'Rockstar 101'.



Rumour has it that her label have already got Rihanna working hard on a 'poppier' follow-up to last year's Rated R, a record that showcased her harder edge (i.e. she wore black a lot and talked a bit about shooting people). In all honesty, this campaign has at least given Rihanna a bit of an edge when a lot of other pop stars have faded into the background like some fairly pleasant wallpaper. Either way, Slash looks hot in this video, right?

Twisted Firestarters

We've always had a slight problem with Arcade Fire. Sure, Funeral had its moments and some of Neon Bible was OK, but the general fawning of critics mixed with THE VERY SERIOUS expressions the band seem to wear at all times made them slightly hard to love.

Regardless of our general sense of "meh", the band have somehow decided to carry on recording music and two brand new tracks have found their way into a shop in Glasgow. Let us explain; basically, a man called Chris Ward was in a record shop when he found a white label vinyl with two brand new Arcade Fire songs. Pretty amazing. These songs have now made their way onto the internet and you can download the songs for free from this here blog.

'Month of May' is an urgent, relatively heavy-sounding warning about winds that blow wives away, whilst 'The Suburbs' is a more obvious Arcade Fire track with bar-room piano and a typically lovely melody.

Expect some 5* reviews when the album emerges, probably in a Leeds branch of WH Smith.

A song about having your willy cut off

Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti have a pretty amazing new album out at the beginning of June. Entitled Before Today and released via the legendary 4AD label, it's a brilliantly odd mix of psych-pop, glam and full-blown pop that reminds us of everyone from Pavement to Super Furry Animals.

This here is a live version of 'Menopause Man', which is all about a man wanting to be a woman. Altogether now, "Castrate me, make me gay / Lady, I'm a lady from today".

Flash in the pan?

Hands up who remembers the Klaxons? You do!? Seriously? OK, well they've spent the past fourteen years working on the follow-up to the Mercury-winning Myths of The Near Future and finally the first fruits of their intensive labour have found their way onto the interpipe.

This is 'Flashover':

So, what do you reckon? Was it worth the wait? Certainly you can hear producer Ross Robinson's influence, especially in the guitar heavy first few minutes. The odd piano interlude is a bit cringe worthy and despite the lack of cheap synths and the general desire to leave the whole 'nu rave' thing behind, it's not all that different. It's also a bit, you know, dull...

"Shake your tamberella"

Everyone hates Mark Ronson. We get it, don't get it twisted; it's that ubiquity, that smirk, those horns, the fact that he's a good-looking chap with some nice threads. But at the same time, it's weird because he's made some pretty great songs - the majority of Back To Black, for example - and he clearly knows his stuff, but at the same time he's easy to dismiss.

Whether you like him or not, his new album, Record Collection, is shaping up to be pretty interesting. Featuring a host of guest vocalists - including Boy George, The Drums' Jonathan Pearce, Santigold, Miike Snow and many others - it also features vocals from Ronson himself and no cover versions. A few weeks ago the first taster was released in the shape of 'Circuit Breaker', which as the title and the video suggests, is heavily influenced by the music to all those old console computer games.



OK, so it sounds exactly like the music from an old computer game and that's not exactly a good thing, but it's not the official first single so calm down. 'Bang Bang Bang' features a guest rap from Q-Tip and vocals from Yeah Yeah Yeahs' touring keyboardist (the glamour!), MNDR, and it's a stuttering, synth heavy little ditty that claws its way into your memory bank on the second listen. Not a horn in sight.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO IT PLEASE

A little bit like The Go Team you say? Yes, you're right. 'Bang Bang Bang' is released in July and the album is out in September.

New Musick Monday

We need to have words. Seriously. Move closer, sit down and just fucking listen for once. How could you let Kelis' new album enter at no. 42? For those of you without a degree in maths, that means she missed the Top 40, whilst albums from the likes of Boyzone and Scouting For Girls pranced around in the upper echelons like they owned the place. Disgraceful. Still, LCD Soundsystem managed to gatecrash the top 10, which just goes to show that acres of press and a handful of amazing reviews do have an influence after all.  Jamie Lidell was nowhere to be seen and the Laura Marling single followed her last effort into the lower reaches of the Top 75. A decidedly mixed bag in other words. Here are some more things no-one will buy...

BUY THIS IF YOU LIKE JOOLS HOLLAND

Becoming A Jackal by Villagers

Villagers, aka Conor J. O'Brien, makes the kind of music that's easy to dismiss. Earnest, studied and never knowingly exciting, his appearance on Jools Holland a few months ago had some very serious music critics talking very seriously about how he's the new Radiohead. Debut album Becoming A Jackal doesn't support this theory of course, but it does showcase an emerging young talent and as it creeps out of the speakers it's hard to dislike. O'Brien's influences are obvious - yes, a dash of Radiohead here, a helping of Bright Eyes there, a smattering of Elliott Smith just about everywhere - but he manages to create something interesting with the ingredients (have we laboured the food metaphor enough yet? Can we stir it up some more? Perhaps add a garnish of cliche, or a drizzling of empty compliments?). Anyways, it's better then you expect it to be, which is high praise indeed, is it not?

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Treats by Sleigh Bells

We've already done a big thing about this so we won't repeat ourselves. What we will say is that we accidentally illegally downloaded this thinking that it wasn't out here for ages and then we go and find it on iTunes...SORRY.

DOWNLOAD THIS RIGHT NOW

'Better Than Love' by Hurts

We guest edited some kind of spam email thing and in it we had to pick our favourite current track and we picked this. It's like Depeche Mode meets Tears For Fears meets Ultravox and yet somehow it's better than even that makes it sound. The fact that it has two brilliant choruses doesn't hurt(s), nor does the very lesbian video. After all the hype and the plaudits, it's nice to see a band genuinely come good on their early promise. Now, don't fuck it up this time general public, we're relying on you.

Friday catch up: Videos with lights in them

There are rumours circulating that Swedish pop supremo Robyn's record label wanted her age to be kept out of interviews or at least played down, simply because she's over...wait for it...30 years of age! Given this nugget of information, it must have been hard for Robyn to film this video for the mind-meltingly good 'Dancing On My Own', seeing as much of it takes place in a club with loads of young people getting off with each other and being all young and gross.

Whatever her age, the woman knows how to wring every drop of emotion out of a song, doesn't she? Those violent gestures, that anguished face, the smoke machines! Watch it here:


Robyn 'Dancing On My Own' (Official Video) from Robyn on Vimeo.

Everyone's current favourite British female songstress Florence & The Machine, is set to release her twentieth single. 'Cosmic Love' was always the song on the album that screamed "THIRD SINGLE", and despite the delay, it's still a genuinely beautiful love song. The video continues the visual theme of most of the videos from Lungs, i.e. Florence leaps about with gleeful abandon, flinging her hair around like a banshee and generally being spooky and ethereal. All of this is a good thing in a video by the way.

War! What is it good for?

You must know how it works by now. If not, allow us to remind you; a new band start generating some buzz, we miss it completely, then six months down the line we catch on and tell you about it as if you've never heard of them (when of course, by then, even Mildred who lives opposite the Post Office knows about them).

With that in mind, allow us to introduce you to Warpaint.

Four young ladies from LA, Warpaint have caused quite a stir with their debut EP, the spooky Exquisite Corpse. Over six strung out tracks - the highlight of which is the amazing 'Elephants' - they recall Mazzy Star and various slacker bands from the '90s, yet somehow it all sounds fresh enough to encourage repeat listens. Worth checking out (six months late).



FACT: Actress Shannyn Sossaman used to be their drummer.

Bludgeoned to death with a baseball bat

There's much to hate about Jo Whiley - that voice, her fawning over every new band as if they were the second coming, creating Fearne Cotton - but perhaps her biggest sin is the legacy of The Live Lounge. For those unfamiliar with the concept, let Musick enlighten you; basically, every week a band or singer arrives at the Radio 1 studios ready to "revamp" and "re-contextualise" a current hit single. So, for example, Scouting For Girls will rock up, play their new single and then deliver an irony-free take on 'My Humps' by The Black Eyed Peas and the general public go, "wow, I didn't realise how good that song was until it was stripped back and delivered by an earnest Tory-boy with a weirdly sexist take on relationships".

This new-found love for the 'unexpected' cover version (they're usually so fucking obvious it hurts) has reached some kind of nadir with the following act. They call themselves The Baseballs, dress like twats and record stupifyingly terrible covers of recent chart hits (usually by women) that aren't even interesting on first listen and then get knuckle-nawingly shit should you have the misfortune to hear them again. For some inexplicable reason their cover of Rihanna's 'Umbrella' has reached over 8 million hits and nearly all the comments say ridiculous things such as "LOL OMG, this is, like, so much better than the original. Rihanna sukz and The Baseballs vintage take on a modern classic really brings out the soul in what is already a rather sweet song about being there for someone. Or summink".

This band are huge in Germany...

New Musick Monday

It seems our mild indifference towards Foals second album didn't put people off buying it; entering at number 8, it's the band's second top ten album in a row. However, their debut peaked at no. 3, so that's five chart placings they've lost in the interim and at the end of the day, five chart placings are five chart placings. Or something. Holy Fuck did diddily squat, whilst the fresh-faced Mini Viva may soon be stacking shelves in the Minute Mart (or not, seeing as it's fictional) as their third single misses the Top 40 altogether. This week is a bit of a bumper edition, so let's crack on...

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This Is Happening by LCD Soundsystem

Whilst not quite the all out amazingfest that is Sound Of Silver, the third (and perhaps last?) LCD Soundsystem album is still about twenty-six times better than anything else around at the moment. As ever, James Murphy sounds simultaneously bored, dazed and perpetually confused and his general sense of brattishness comes to the fore on tracks such as 'Drunk Girls' and 'You Wanted A Hit' (essentially an ode to his record label). Highlights include the slow-burn opener, 'Dance Yrself Clean' and the Bowie-esque 'All I Want'.

BUY THIS TOO

Flesh Tone by Kelis

Four years after the patchy Kelis Was Here and a year after she got sick of husband Nas' (alleged) philandering and filed for divorce, Kelis is back with a new dance-orientated sound. Featuring production from David Guetta, Benny Benassi and label boss, will.i.am, Flesh Tone ups the bpm to almost mind-boggling levels, with weird sonic squiggles and huge synths dominating the album. Single 'Acapella' is a sweet ode to her baby son, whilst '4th Of July (Fireworks)' and '22nd Century' are like futuristic rave anthems in waiting. A welcome return.

HEY, WHILST YOU'RE AT IT, BUY THIS 'N'ALL

Compass by Jamie Lidell

Jamie Lidell has always been a bit of an odd fit with the Warp roster, his albums more likely to feature some soulful organ stabs as opposed to a beat that sounds like the inner workings of a beetle's mind. Whilst 2008's Jim at times sounded like the perfect soul pastiche album, Compass is more slapdash, with songs careening between beat box, sax, distorted percussion and Lidell's elastic vocals. Featuring the likes of Feist, Beck and three members of Grizzly Bear (the band's Chris Taylor co-produces), it's all over the place but with a melodic core that's undeniable.

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'Rambling Man' by Laura Marling

Because you'll regret it if you don't.

All the (not so) single ladies

This is the new single from Kylie Minogue. It's called 'All The Lovers' and is taken from her millionth album, Aphrodite.



Very nice.

Before the ash cloud

This is the rather great new video for Wildbirds & Peacedrums new single, 'Bleed Like There Was No Other Flood'. Filmed in Iceland and continuing the visual water theme started with the forthcoming EP, Retina, it's all rather hypnotic.

The song itself is relatively straight forward in the fact that it 'only' features a full choir, some clattering percussion and Mariam Wallentin's spooky vocals. It builds and evolves slowly into something quite beautiful.



Retina is out on 24 May.

Beck = the indie Beyoncé

We all know that Beck is prolific - he covers albums in a day, helps produce records by Stephen Malkmus and Jamie Lidell, is on the new Twilight soundtrack - but such is his work rate that some amazing things are being lost amongst the sheer weight of his workload.

We know next to nothing about Tobacco - only that it's, like, super-bad for you - but whoever he is, he's got some stellar connections. Beck adds his mumbled brand of nonsense beat poetry to the charmingly haphazard, 'Fresh Hex'.

Ecoute:



Beck also appears on another track on Tobacco's forthcoming album, Maniac Meat, and it's called 'Grape Aerosmith'. Nice.

First Listen: Treats by Sleigh Bells

Derek Miller (guitar/production) and Alexis Krauss (vocals) make up Brooklyn noise-pop duo Sleigh Bells. Not only do they make music your mum used to warn you about - "it's just noise" is actually completely accurate - but they're also signed to M.I.A's N.E.E.T label and Miller helped out on his bosses brand new album. Not bad for a band who only got together after Krauss - who had just left a crappy girl band - and Miller were forced into making music together by Krauss' mother.

Their debut album, Treats, has just been released in America, so we flew out there to give it a listen (ahem).  Given the fact that the album is mainly a bit of a racket, we've decided to use tennis players to rate each track (tennis players use rackets, GEDDIT?). The ratings go something like this;

Roger Federer = AMAZING
Rafael Nadal = GREAT, BUT SUFFERS WITH DODGY KNEES
Andy Murray = GOOD, WITH FLASHES OF BRILLIANCE BUT A BIT SURLY
Andy Roddick = CONSTANTLY UNDERWHELMING

Let's do this

1. 'Tell 'Em' - Much of Treats is based around distorted beats and ridiculously loud two-note guitar riffs. 'Tell 'Em' is one of the better examples of this, with Krauss adding a strangely catchy vocal hook over the top of the cacophony that threatens to swamp her at any given moment.
Rafael Nadal

2. 'Kids' - This one actually features some sleigh bells, which is nice. Then the 'nice' gets swallowed by those distorted guitars and popping beat, but once again Krauss manages to add a sweetly melodic hook that makes it seem unsettling. But, like, in a good way.
Rafael Nadal

3. 'Riot Rhythm' - The guitars that have plagued the first couple of tracks frankly get a bit annoying on this one. You can't shake the feeling this would sound better without them, especially as the live (?) drums and processed handclaps carry the song well enough anyways.
Andy Roddick

4. 'Infinity Guitars' - An early demo version of this track got everyone very excited a few months ago and luckily they've not done too much to change it. It kind of reminds us of Bumblebeez in the way it sounds like a very catchy pop single recorded in a skip full of rusty old bikes.
Roger Federer

5. 'Run The Heart' - Ah, some relative calm here. There's even some pretty synth moments and the whole thing has the whiff of Crystal Castles. Krauss' vocals are minimal and barely audible for the most part, but the whole thing offers some light relief from all the speaker-busting beats and squiggles.
Rafael Nadal

6. 'Rachel' - Starts with some heavy breathing before a stuttering beat comes in and Krauss is off, sounding like a girl group member gone wrong. It's pleasant enough, but doesn't really go anywhere.
Andy Murray

7. 'Rill Rill' - This used to be called 'Ring Ring' and has been beefed up slightly, the extra production adding a bit more clarity to one of the best (and most musical) songs on the album. Over a lovely sample of an old Funkadelic track, Krauss' vocals are crisp and clear and midway through there's a lovely middle eight that makes you swoon.
Roger Federer

8. 'Crown On The Ground' - After the relative calm, the aural storm. This was the track that got the bloggers erect and it's a brilliant, clattering monster of distorted guitar and thunderous beats that teeters on the edge of a breakdown but is deliriously catchy.
Roger Federer

9. 'Straight A's' - We warn you against listening to this track on tinny laptop speakers because chances are you'll think your head's about to explode. At just ninety seconds long and as loud as a bomb, this is a fairly unwelcome interlude.
Andy Roddick

10. 'A/B Machines' - More punishing guitars and erupting beats but at least this time we have Krauss' voice back to deliver a hushed chorus about machines on the table and in the draw. Lord only knows what it's all about, but it sounds pretty bangin'.
Andy Murray

11. 'Treats' - This is a slightly disappointing end and proof that when the duo fail to find a melody their songs descend into an almighty mess.
Andy Roddick

VERDICT: We're assuming that title is ironic because though the album has some brilliant moments, listening to it form start to finish isn't what we would call a treat. There's also the suspicion that much of it would get boring after a while, in the same way that listening to a distorted drill might get boring. But on tracks like 'Crown On The Ground', 'Rill Rill' and 'Tell 'Em', they hit upon some weird formula where everything sounds just right.
Raphael Nadal

"U want me to be somebody who I'm really not"

This is the official first single from M.I.A's third album that we mentioned yesterday when we were going on about how she'll probably never sell any records. Unfortunately for us, it's a massive, full-on pop single, with a brilliantly chopped beat, three or four hooks and a chorus that is sung in a slightly emotionally detached fashion, a la Britney.

This is 'XXXO':



GOING TO BE HUGE.

New Musick Monday

Nothing, nudda, zip. Not one of the acts we gave our full backing to have made any kind of impression on the UK hit parade, not even M.I.A who has had acres of free publicity after that video. We have a theory that she's forever destined to be one of those acts who are critically lauded and define a period of time, but actually sell a grand total of ten records. Obviously, 'Paper Planes' did pretty well but it was re-released more times than a Florence & The Machine single and even then the album (Kala) remained rooted to the lower reaches. We're willing to be shown the error of our ways of course and rumours that the first "proper' single is an electro-tinged club banger may mean Musick will eat it's words. Let's just get on with this, shall we?

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Total Life Forever by Foals

We're just not sure about this album. Some of it is great ('Spanish Sahara', 'Blue Blood'), some of it is OK ('This Orient') and the rest of it is frustratingly, "meh". It's not that it's bad, it's just that the energy and passion that seemed to have made it through the protracted gestation of their debut has been sucked out and replaced with a sheen that can be impenetrable. BUT, massive caveat alert, we didn't like their debut much at first either and now we're eulogising about it, so the key here is approach anything we say with caution. POINTLESS!

GET THIS IF YOU CAN

Latin by Holy Fuck

Despite the aggressive moniker and the apocalyptic pretensions, there is much on this third album that's melodic and almost hummable, with the band constantly trying to harness the sheer force of the music within the confines of a four minute song. If Sigur Ros were the perfect accompaniment to some  beautiful Icelandic vistas, than Holy Fuck could easily soundtrack the bubbling volcano that's currently acting as a natural warning of imminent Armageddon. Most tracks sound like they're being performed with some kind of drum orchestra and the sheer force and energy of the music is pretty breathtaking.

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'One Touch' by Mini Viva

The other day we got into a bit of a debate about pop music and whether a good pop songs is still a good pop song if it's made by Girls Aloud, for example, or LCD Soundsystem, or Hot Chip, i.e. should you not like a song because of whose name is on it. We argued that some of the most amazing singles of recent years have come from pop bands who have some very talented producers behind the scenes and that when people say "I like real music, not this pop crap", it makes us want to bludgeon them with a printer. Obviously some pop is crap - ladies and gentlemen, Westlife - but so is a lot of so-called "real music" (Mr Kelly Jones, we're looking at you now). This Xenomania-produced slice of future-pop may not be to everyone's tastes, but it's got about three choruses, a spoken-word rap bit and some massive synths. Sometimes, that's enough.

Finders Keepers

Not only did we forget to write about this song a few weeks ago but we've also managed to leave it off the Friday Catch-up feature, which in turn, we forgot to actually do last week. Needless to say, we understand completely if you guys all bugger off elsewhere for your musical needs. Lord knows we would if we could.

Anyway, this is the third single from the increasingly interesting Rose Elinor Dougall. Some of you may remember her from The Pipettes, but most of you won't seeing as they existed mainly on the pages of magazines and in Japan. Dougall's ditched the faux-'60s girl group stylings of her former band (who are now a duo with no original members - like the Sugababes but with less tabloid fodder) and gone for a more stately, chamber pop sound. 'Find Me Out' is not single material in that it's slow, subtle and features words like "cerebral faculties" and "arteries". It's still rather lovely though...

Rose Elinor Dougall - Find Me Outbydancetotheradio

Does she ever sleep?

Surely, tonight of all nights is a good time to unveil another Beyoncé video, is it not? It's not like there's anything else going on is there? Plus, this is Beyoncé's fourteenth single to be released this month and as everyone knows, the fourteenth times a charm.

'Why Don't You Love Me?' didn't even make it onto the original pressings of I Am Sasha Fierce (an album that's been re-released more times than Blade Runner), but has been selected as the final single from this exhaustive campaign. The video introduces another character, B.B. Homemaker, and finds her doing all sorts of household chores dressed as Betty Page - vacuuming, washing the dishes, fixing her car - in between making what looks like a very difficult telephone conversation (perhaps Jay-Z had forgotten the Rice Crispies?). The best bit? When the B-dog (she'd like that moniker, right?) polishes her SIXTEEN Grammy awards. OH NO SHE DIDN'T.

Tenderoni is the night

We did a (pretty piss poor) thing about Kele 'not in Bloc Party at the moment' Okereke's first solo single, 'Tenderoni', the other day. Now a video has appeared so we're putting that up too. Sometimes, it's just that easy.

The video kind of resembles a Nike advert, complete with futuristic gym wear and Kele in the sort of dressing gown thing that boxers wear (the album is called The Boxer, appropriately enough). But wait, who is that topless man whose face we don't get to see? The guy with the rippling muscles, shiny back and, er, hands and arms? We'll let you see for yourselves...

XXXtina's sex tape

We find it a bit weird that no one has picked up on the fact that a Christina Aguilera sex tape has emerged. Featuring the diminutive wall-flower locked in a loving embrace with another woman and all sorts of other terribly risque things such as bondage and dancing in the rain, it's a wonder it hasn't been banned.

Here it is anyway. Be warned, it comes with a pretty awful soundtrack:

Somewhere Britney is pissing herself laughing.

New Musick Monday

This weeks edition of everyone's fourteenth favourite weekly internet-based music rundown, is brought to you on a brand new MacBook. "Holla". So, expect a lot of techno snobbery, mildly patronising statements such as "Oh, does your PC not do that?", and, most likely of all, some of our own 'beats' thanks to the wonder that is GarageBand. But enough of all this, how did we do this week? Erm, let's just say all three of our acts failed to dent the charts, although Drake did manage to climb five whole places to no. 55. The power of Musick in full effect right there. Let's leave the wilting flower of last week and embrace the bouquet that blossoms before us...

BUY THIS

Cosmogramma by Flying Lotus

Flying Lotus, aka Steven Ellison, is widely being hailed as the future of music or the Jimi Hendrix of our generation or the bloke whose aunt was Alice Coltrane. We're not sure about the Jimi Hendrix bit and the family connection is undeniable, but on the evidence of this stunning album, we're pretty sure music would be in safe hands were it all left to him. Featuring a guest spot from super fan Thom Yorke on the typically dense and dark, '...And The World Laughs With You', Cosmogramma is a tetchy, densely packed collection of minimal beats, jazzy horn blasts and, er, the sound of a table tennis ball.

AVERT YOUR EYES FROM THE ARTWORK

Grey Oceans by CocoRosie

It's impossible not to see this album cover - DON'T LOOK AT IT - without wanting to hurt sisters Bianca and Sierra Casady. It screams "We're so kooky and ethereal! You wouldn't understand how zany we are because you haven't lived the free wheelin' spiritual lives we have". But, if you can get past all that, Grey Oceans features a number of beautiful gems amongst the hotchpotch of disperate instruments that include harps, kids toys, cheap beats and the sister's sickly sweet vocals. At times it's pretentious and precious, but tracks like 'Lemonade', 'Undertaker' and the gorgeous title track make you remember why you bothered.

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'Born Free' by M.I.A

We've only just realised this track is already on iTunes and given all the ho-ha about the nine-minute long 'ginger genocide' video, we thought it might be best to direct your attention to it again. Over a riff taken from Suicide's 'Ghost Rider', 'Born Free' was apparently written and recorded in a sudden burst of frustration and it shows, M.I.A venting at just about everything in her typically scattergun approach. The effects on her vocals are a bit disorientating at first, but the sheer force of the track soon shines through. Her as yet untitled third album should be quite something.