Bouncey castle

It's important to remember that Beyonce isn't a pop star anymore. No, she wants respect. She said so in a recent interview. It's also worth noting that she hasn't released anything half way decent since 'Crazy In Love', her debut solo single. Her last album B'Day was so bereft of actual tunes that her record company called in British remixers Freemasons to give the songs some life. So there's a lot riding on Beyonce's forthcoming third solo album, and to introduce it she's releasing a double a-side single 'If I Were A Boy' and 'Single Ladies' (both genders are catered for, do you see?).

'If I Were A Boy' is the least interesting. It was co-written by the man who penned 'Big Girls Don't Cry' by Fergie, a song that stayed on the British and American charts for about fifteen years. 'If I Were A Boy' is about how men are really rather selfish and mean and sometimes they don't switch their mobile phones on. Musically it's about as interesting as 'God Was One Of Us' by Joan Osborne. The singing is pretty good though.



'Single Ladies' is obviously meant to be the club banger to 'If I Were A Boy's radio-friendly balladering. It's got lots of stuff going on, which in the modern world of RnB can sometimes be the default setting. If you're worried about making it sound really NOW, then just throw stuff at it; alarms, burps, synths, splutters, handclaps, oodles of percussion. It was this that buried most of B'Day. Here it all works slightly better, the song has a great hook of "If you like it then you should have put a ring on it" and it sticks in your head. She's a pop star after all.

Bjorkie bar

I love Bjork. I love Radiohead. Thom Yorke is the singer with Radiohead. Ergo a collaboration between Bjork and Thom Yorke from Radiohead is literally enough to make my bladder weaken. Reports are emanating from various internet sources that Yorke will supply backing vocals on 'Nattura', Bjork's brand new single (it doesn't appear on her last album Volta).



However, Billboard are reporting that Radiohead's 'people' have stated that Yorke has recorded no new material with Bjork, which either means the little Icelandic goddess is lying (I won't even contemplate that thought!) or the vocals are left over from the sessions they did for their first duet, 'I've Seen It All'. Either way it's bloody exciting. The single is apparently due out on the 20 October and seems to have some kind of eco-theme.

Here's 'I've Seen It All' as a little taster of what may or may not be happening on 'Nattura'.



EDIT: It's all true! It DOES feature Thom Yorke on backing vocals and it WILL be released on 20 October. Like. Oh. My. God.

American Idle

As a precursor to the imminent disappointment that is X Factor, it might be worth noting the winner and the runner-up on the most recent American Idol series. Both David Cook (the 'winner') and David Archuleta (the 'loser') have recently released their respective 'break out' singles in America (i.e. ones they hope will set them up on a long and fruitful career now that the aura of the TV show has long diminished). And it's pretty much as you would expect: Turgid, stilted, dated, formulaic musical dross on both sides that is about as exciting as a musical battle between two men called David could be (Bowie is an exception by the way).

In the red corner you have David Cook who has facial hair so therefore he must sing with what sounds like a sore throat and play the guitar. In the blue corner you have David Archuleta who has barely finished puberty so it is written in stone that he must make mid-paced 'R&B' with some piano on it. Both songs are truly awful.

David C:



David A:



We give them Leona Lewis and look what they do in return. Right, I'm getting Michelle McManus out of retirement and we're coming to get you.

Robyn of Loxley

Robyn is a proper pop star. For one, she's short. For two, she's not exactly beautiful but she's interesting to look at, the kind of person who would stand out in a crowd. Thricely, she makes amazing pop songs, and new single 'Cobrastyle' is no exception. It may be a cover, but it's a cover of a song by a band called the Teddybears, who produced this version, so really it's less of a cover and more of a realisation by the Teddybears that their version was never going to make it big so they got Robyn to sing on it.

'Cobrastyle' is about the gazillionth single to be taken from her eponymous album that was originally released in her native Sweden back in 2005! She's made a new video for it, which you can gaze upon below. It's not exactly original in concept, but neon paint landing on a white surface (usually in slow motion) is still rather interesting to look at. Why is that? Oh, if only I could remember my degree-level Media Studies course...



But it's not all about releasing old songs to flog a (brilliant) old album. Robyn also appears on two tracks on the new Christian Falk album. 'C.C.C' is all '80s cheap beats and ascending synths whilst 'Dream On' is hands in the air rave-tastic. Bravo Robyn (and Christian, but to be honest we're not so sure who you are yet, so it's mainly Robyn).

'C.C.C'



'Dream On'

An apology...

We've not been posting of late.

It's because of this.

Pray for music, it needs your help...

Bring back capital punishment

I know that hating Scouting For Girls is really obvious, like disliking Nazis or mashed potato, but sometimes you have to give voice to the glaringly obvious and make sure people realise what's going on. Scouting For Girls are three of the most insipid human beings you're ever likely to meet (and I hope to God you don't meet them), and their music is pure depression for the ears. But in a way I feel that I should draw your attention to something these men have achieved that sets them apart from every other dog shit band; they have genuinely made one of the worst song/video combinations of all time. A round of applause please, if you will, for Scouting For Girls and their new single, 'I Wish I Was James Bond', the sixth (!) to be taken from their number 1(!!) debut album, Wow I Can't Believe So Many People Actually Buy This Lazy Old Shit:



Oh dear God. Where to start with this? I'm not sure I can bring myself to do it. The guy with the bass and his spoken interlude bit, what's that about? When he says "mixing business with girls, and thrills" I literally want to shove a pen up my nose and slam my head onto the table. The way it's been released to coincide with the new James Bond film that's out next month, like people will be that stupid as to go and watch the Quantum Of Solace, then hear this on the radio and think, man, I need that song in my life because I too wish I was James Bond. OK, so people are that stupid, but why? What next, Scouting For Girls sing 'I Wish I Was Harry Potter' or 'I Wish I Was John McClane', or 'I Wish I Was Joseph Stalin' to coincide with a documentary on Communism? How about the ending, where he lists all the names of the actors that have been James Bond, thus collapsing the admittedly fragile nature of ACTING!!! Oh, by the way, the singers name is Roy. Enough said.

What do you reckon(er)?

Those delightful chaps over at Radiohead have decided to release the rather wonderful 'Reckoner' as the third single from their really quite splendid In Rainbows album. As with 'Nude', fans can download individual stems of the song to remix until their hearts content, creating unlistenable dirges or moments of beauty. To continue the DIY ethos (some would say sheer laziness), the band have picked an animated fan-made effort (by Clement Picon) for the official video and here it is...



Delightful.

'Reckoner' is Musick's favourite song from the album and it looks like it might be Gnarls Barkley's favourite too, here they are giving it a bash at a recent gig:



Musically it's spot on. Vocally, er, well, it's a good effort. No doubt he gave 110% (we've all been watching a little too much X Factor).